As you struggle and run around to trying to find the “perfect” gift, think about what’s really important. Is it the designer bag or the hottest toy? Is it the perfect diamond or the most expensive leather jacket? In a word, no. Yes, those are really nice things, but they are just that, things. In the grand scheme of life, those things don’t amount to a hill of beans.
It’s going to be a tight Christmas for us this year, so I’ve been trying to figure out how to give our family the best gifts I can without putting us in debt. “Santa” will still have some gifts for the girls (even though they ‘know’ all about Santa) but the gifts from Mom and Dad will be things that you can’t put a price on. This is something I’ve done this in the past when the girls were little and they actually loved it. They will get “coupons” redeemable for a day with me and a day with their Dad. Or maybe it’ll be a weekend without chores. Maybe we’ll make cookies or I’ll show them how to bead a pretty bracelet. Or maybe we will spend a day writing letters and putting together packages for our adopted soldiers. It doesn’t matter what the activity, it’s the being together that’s important.
We have a tendency to spoil the girls with things, just like any other parents, but we have found that the best gift we have given our girls is time. As a family, we have done whatever we can to have dinner together. A time when we can all sit down and catch up on the day’s events. It’s more difficult, but even more important now that the girls are older and have so many other activities, but we try to have dinner together as often as possible. This one activity has shown them that we are available for them. We will always been there for them, whether it’s to see their concerts and plays or just to listen. Yes, we still have times when we don’t get along, but because we have shown them throughout their lives that family and home are important, the girls always know that we are there for them…no matter what.
So, for us this year, the best gifts we will give each other are love and time.
Great post Anna. We asked my son over the weekend what he wanted for Christmas and he said he just wants to see us. Oh yeah and my homemade yeast rolls.
I was feeling kinda down because our Christmas is going to be extra tight too. My car decides it needs a new fuel pump, baby on the way, bills and my hubby’s hours cut. But after what my son said and now reading your post it brings tears to my eyes cause I was worried about the material things instead of what really is important family and being with them. I much rather hug my son and hold my grandbaby more then anything right now!!
There were many tight Christmas’s when I was a single Mom – but we always had the most important gifts – each other.
Now that my daughter is 19, she just wants to come home and eat my cooking ~ and oh, plastic and cash would be nice too! sort of said as an after thought lol She’s soooo 19!
I needed to write it and you needed to read it! Our timing is perfect, Linda!
My two are 14 and 17 and they are typical teenage girls, but they understand, too. For me, the hardest part is not so much the lack of gifts, it’s the loss of loved ones we shared the holiday with! Some things are irreplaceable (like Moms)…though our memories are still sweet!
There are scores of kids who would give ANYTHING to receive the “cupons”
you plan to give your daughters for Christmas. So many kids, often from the more affluent homes, have to do without the priceless gift of parental “time” because their parents are far more interested in making a great deal of money — or living in their own self-absorbed worlds — to even notice. It is sad — & there are usually consequences down the road.
Love & time, freely given by caring parents, are intangibles that nurture a child’s self-worth & esteem like no other, the benefits of which will last a lifetime. The usual “material stuff” could never compete! Your lovely family will have a wonderful Christmas as you honor “just being together” & focus on what REALLY matters.
Thank you, Trish and I agree. I think there is parental neglect or indifference across the board. But it is usually the more affluent who have their children raised by nannies or enroll them in so many activities that there is no free time. It is sad and I’m glad that my parents raised me the way they did so that I would treasure those dinners we had when I was growing up and making sure that our girls had the same!
Amen Anna!
Thank you, Angel!
Oh for the love… I’m getting you guys a Tivo dammit.
You should give your family a hill of beans just for the heck of it. Imagine the jocularity!
Stew, you never fail to bring a smile to my face!
Of course you voiced it perfectly. In the past I’ve made special cards, cut out things from catalogs, that *if* I had unlimited resources, I would buy . We laugh a lot about the Jag being delivered on Tuesday. It really is the thought that counts.
What a great idea, M*A! It’s usually the girls giving the pictures…of the things they want. I’ll have to turn the tables on them!
I suspect your family will have a perfectly sublime Christmas. Enjoy it all while it lasts!
Thank you, Word and it’s a shock, too, because this is the last Christmas before our oldest will be off into the world of college and life away from home!
“For me, the hardest part is not so much the lack of gifts, it’s the loss of loved ones we shared the holiday with!”
Yes, Anna – that’s so very true. Our family has been hit hard with loses of 3 family members this past year and a half. It was so nice to have a large part of the family at my house for Thanksgiving. Being together made it so much better.
It is a shock when our babies leave the nest! I’m tough – I can take alot but when my baby girl left for basic, all my “toughness” went down the drain!!
I love your thoughts on the holidays – you and your family will definitely share the season’s magic!
Thank you so much Yankeemom! I lost my mom in ‘03 and it’s just so difficult because she loved Christmas and it was always a big affair until she got too sick, but we know she’s with us still.
Some Blog Posts From This Week
Good blog posts this week.
Thanks for the link, Beth!